


Starlight Memories

by ElopeToTheSea



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Memory Loss, Temporary Amnesia, Touch starved Sora, Touch-Starved, it's happy ending i promise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-04
Updated: 2020-01-25
Packaged: 2020-11-23 20:14:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20895470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElopeToTheSea/pseuds/ElopeToTheSea
Summary: It was an accident. Kairi and Sora were supposed to be on a mission. Nothing big. It was supposed to be easy. In and out. A couple of days max.But when Kairi rushed in, bloody all over and fear in her face, Riku knew.It had gone wrong.





	1. The Quiet

When Kairi came through the door, Riku knew something was wrong.

He knew, even before she rushed in. It had started the day before. The unsettling feeling of his heart beating and constricting inside his chest ached. It started slow, almost unnoticeable in the midst of the night, and it just grew. Something was strange. Odd. But he couldn’t quite put a finger on it.

At least, not until Kairi burst through the door, forehead sticky with sweat and her usually sun-tanned skin was pale white from fear, days before her and Sora’s mission was supposed to end. There was a lot of blood. Her blue eyes wide, hands shaking, and the simple word that left her lips was enough to shatter Riku’s entire world.

“Sora…” her voice was weak. Trembling hands gripping the frame of the door. And even if it was so small, easily missed, it resonated inside Riku’s head.

Dizziness overcame him, as all the blood in his face drained out. His throat closed up, and his body moved before his mind could catch up. Kairi barely had time to push herself out of the way, before he was running out of the room. 

His mind was blank. The pounding of his heart banging loudly against his ears, as he watched the halls of the tower pass by.

It wasn’t until he reached the door of Sora’s room that he finally felt like he could breathe again.

The door was wide open. Sora’s frame resting against the window, staring outwards into the green garden and the multi-colored sky that shone above them. The breeze of starlight hit Sora’s face, as he closed his eyes to breathe in. The bed creaked underneath him, blankets sprawled out giving him an ethereal look that had Riku wanting to reach out more than anything else.

“Sora,” was all he could say. A whisper, a longing sigh. Inaudible amid the giant space that separated them

But it was enough to make Sora turn at him.

In his relief, Riku didn’t bother to wait for Sora’s response. He rushed to Sora’s side, ready to place hands around his shoulders, bring the smaller boy into a hug.

But before he could, Sora flinched.

Riku stopped dead on his tracks, watching the fear flicker behind Sora’s eyes. Hands were grasping the blankets, confusion, and helplessness drawn like a painting in his gaze.

The echo of footsteps, and Kairi’s voice calling for his name. It was distant, even if he knew she was likely just behind. His heart was dissonant; out of tune. Melodies felt out of place, as he stepped away.

“I’m sorry,” Sora said. It wasn’t real. It didn’t feel real. Against his ears, everything sounded strange. Dream-like, paralyzed in terror. Sora’s eyes shifted towards Kairi, recognition null as he continued. “...Who are you?”

“He lost his memories,” was Kairi’s response. It was as shaken as him. Broken. Wet sounds came rushing, hiccups of tears. “I-I…I don’t know how to fix it…It’s, it’s my fault I-…He tried to help me!”

Riku turned away from Sora, to stare at Kairi. Her battle wounds were severe, bruises and cuts all over her body. No doubt the result from having to defend a memory-less Sora from Heartless. Tears kept streaming down her face, guilt flooding as she tried to wipe them away. She couldn’t even stand up straight from the pain her heart and body were in.

“It’s not your fault,” he managed to say. It surprised him how shaky his voice came out. So strained and weak. “Come on, let’s get you treated.”

She nodded slowly, letting the tears drop from her face and unto the wooden floor. Riku helped her out of the room, unable to fully process the weight of the things that invaded his mind.

“I’m sorry,” Sora’s voice called, just before they left. “I really am.”

‘Don’t be,’ he wanted to say. Reassure his best friend that this wasn’t his fault. That this was okay. That they’d pull through this, just like they did everything before.

But he couldn’t. He was too scared his voice would betray him. So, he sent Sora a look, hoping he could communicate all that was left unsaid.

When all he was met with was perplexed confusion, helplessness settled in.

Sora had truly forgotten everything about them.

* * *

The sky stared back at Sora, as he watched the bird that flew around it in a hazed trance. The longer he stared at it, the more it felt _wrong_. But he couldn’t exactly tell how. Maybe it was the birds, they were different. From what? He closed his eyes, groaning lowly as he tried to remember. His mind reeled, reaching to grab on to the ends of-…anything. Anything at all that explained the uneasiness inside his chest, and the strange loneliness that invaded him as he stared at an unfamiliar sky.

But no matter how much he reached to touch the memories, they all flickered away, escaping him before he could recognize them.

Vaguely, he could remember…the beach. Laughter. Races towards something. An ocean so blue it shone like crystals underneath the sun. The sound of seagulls in the distance, intermixed with a laugh. A voice that called his name. The scent of salt mixed in with that of home.

Home?

He opened his eyes slowly, wondering what home smelt like.

Destiny Islands. The only name he could recall.

Everything else was washed like the figures in the sand, swallowed by waves. If you squinted, maybe you could make it out. The strange shape of _something_ that used to be there. But just as you thought you recognized it, another wave came crashing, wiping it away forever.

There were voices outside his door. Hushed whispers from people he knows. Or at least, should know. But no matter how many times they introduced themselves, their names slipped past him.

_“Found anything yet?”_

_“I’m so sorry, Riku…It’s like his memories…are locked?”_

_“They’re not gone?”_

_“No…I don’t think they are. They’re just…blocked from the rest of his chain of memories.”_

_“You can’t fix it?”_

_“I could try, but I highly doubt it…”_

_“Is there anything we can do to help?” another voice. A girl’s._

_“…Maybe you could help him remember…”_

_“How? He doesn’t even recognize us, Namine!”_

_“Calm down, Kairi…He doesn’t recognize you because his core memories are locked.”_

_“Core memories?” a boy’s._

_“His most precious memories,” she explained. “They’re linked to…everything! Unless he regains that…he won’t remember a thing.”_

_“Which are they?”_

_“I wouldn’t know…”_

Core memories? They sounded important. Should he be worried he doesn’t have them?

People came and went inside his room. They joked and laughed as if they were old friends. They were probably. They introduced themselves and giggled when Sora had trouble remembering them. Sora tried his best to smile, joke around. But some comments went right over his head.

_‘Can’t believe you forgot about me after carrying me around your heart for years!’_

Everyone laughed. Except Sora. It felt lonely to miss out on the joke. It ached a bit if he was honest. But he tried his best not to let it show. Everyone was trying their hardest not to let their hurt show. They pretended they were okay when Sora asked for their names. They smiled when Sora asked questions about things he should already know the answer to.

They were all trying their hardest to hold themselves up.

Well, everyone except…

Kairi and Riku.

He thinks those are their names.

Kairi wouldn’t meet his eyes. Mostly, out of guilt. It flashed in her eyes whenever he tried to call her name. Face flushed, and ready to burst out in tears. They had told him they had been together when the mission went sour and he lost his memories.

“I think she blames herself,” Namine, the sweet girl who drew him pictures and peeled oranges in the afternoons, said.

“She shouldn’t,” Sora was quick to say. “It wasn’t anyone’s fault, right?”

“Yeah but…” her words wandered off. “I don’t think it’s a weight she’s going to let go of soon.”

Sora felt strange without Kairi. Seeing her in the distance, so sad and guilt-ridden. Most days, he wanted to call for her and talk. But if he tried, she just ran off.

Maybe seeing him caused her more pain?

He wished so badly that he remembered her.

But the weirdest part…was Riku.

He avoided him, just like Kairi did but…It was colder.

Every morning he tried to greet him, a wide smile and a heart full of hope. But every morning he got…A nod.

Yeah, it wasn’t bad. He wasn’t being mean, or anything. In fact, given that Sora didn’t know _anything _and was practically a stranger inhabiting the body of someone Riku probably cared for, it was probably for the best. The fact that he wasn’t being friendly towards Sora, shouldn’t be a surprise. It shouldn’t even be concerning but…

It still _hurt_.

More than Kairi actively running away from him. More than not watching Ventus’ face contort into fear when he couldn’t remember his name. Or Xion’s bittersweet smile when she gave him a seashell for good luck.

It was a pain unlike any other. Carved deep inside his chest, digging into his heart, break the seams that barely held it together.

Each time he reached out to grab Riku’s hand, he moved it away. Whenever he tried to chat up, he was only met with curt responses, and a dismissive ‘I need to go’.

Battering noises echoed inside his mind. Like an out of tune baritone, ringing inside and stressing him out more and more with each note.

Why was it so hard to breathe?

* * *

After his wounds had healed, Sora left the room on the top of the tower and the bed in which he had rested for the past few days. His memories were still missing, _locked_ as Namine said. But with a bit of work, Sora remembered a few of the things. Perhaps the most basic and inconsequential ones. Like, where the bathroom was and Xion’s favorite type of seashell.

“He remembers them because they aren’t connected to his core memories,” Namine explained. “They’re memories that while not important, they’re worth remembering to him.”

It had taken Riku a while to grow used to it. Sora still seemed uneasy around contact from others. That had taken _everyone_ a good while to grasp. Sora was a touchy person, who loved to be as close to his friends as he possibly could. Hugging and touching were just part of how he communicated. To suddenly see him so abrasive to contact was disconcerting. Wrong, even.

But after they all noticed how uncomfortable Sora was whenever Xion hugged him, or Ventus held his hand, they tried their best to stop it.

Riku himself was having a hard time doing it.

‘_Riku! Hug!_’

‘_Stop it! I’m gonna fall!_’

‘_Nah, you’re strong enough to carry me, right?_’

After so many years of growing used to having Sora in his personal bubble, it was hard to live in a world that didn’t allow it. That had him holding back whenever he wanted to tussle Sora’s messy hair and avoid letting his fingers linger on.

The only reason why he could control himself was the face Sora had made when Ventus hugged him out of nowhere.

His almost-brother, who had lived inside his heart for as long as he had existed. Someone Sora was supposed to trust…

Stiff shoulders, and widened eyes. His hands fidgeted, as he grimaced and avoided everyone’s eyes. Riku was quick to recognize the emotions that swirled inside Sora’s head as Ventus continued to babble on about missing him.

Sora was panicking.

Stressed out and confused, unknowing who the person before him was and what they were doing. It was a feeling Riku had rarely seen flashing through chocolate eyes. He reacted before Sora even opened his mouth to reply.

“Stop it,” Riku said. “You’re scaring him.”

He pulled Ventus away from Sora with one hand. Ventus blinked, confused before he realized what Riku meant. The shock that followed was understandable.

“I’m sorry!” Ventus exclaimed quickly. “I-It’s just, I-I’m so used to it that I forgot…”

Sora reassured him it was okay. For a second, Riku thought Sora muttered out a ‘thank you’, but it was probably a trick of light in his eyes.

* * *

They didn’t let him go on a mission. Part of it was Kairi, who had always been emotionally overprotective over Sora, but with the recent turn of events her worry had maxed out. Not that anyone could fault her for it, though. 

“What if he gets hurt?” she would ask, scratching her hands in worry. “What if he loses more memories? What if he doesn’t remember how to use the Keyblade and they attack him? We can’t let him go on missions! They’re dangerous!”

Namine, Xion, and Ventus tried to calm her down, assuring them that only Sora’s _memories_ were lost. He was still as powerful as always, and even muscle memory would help him if he got into a pinch.

But the other part of why they still didn’t let him go on a mission, was Riku himself, who agreed with Kairi wholeheartedly. And while the others still thought they were worrying a bit too much, they weren’t able to persuade either.

While Riku didn’t voice his worries, everyone knew them. Just in the way his eyes lingered a bit too long on Sora’s frame when the boy stared out the window of his room. Or how he avoided his touch, in fear of scaring him.

It was his silent way of worrying. Of taking care of the one person that mattered the most to him.

Usually, it would be Kairi the one to snap him out. To tell him to stop worrying and talk to Sora. But the situation they were in…

For the looks of it, that wouldn’t be happening anytime soon.

The only thing left for was…

“Did anyone tell Roxas?” Xion asked one day, as she looked up from her cup.

“Weren’t you supposed to tell him?” Ventus asked, blinking.

“I was busy!”

“I’ll call him,” Namine said.

“I owe you,” Xion said. 

* * *

Sora sat outside the tower, by a garden that grew out of the sight of most eyes. From his tower, he had been able to see it. For some reason, no one else was there. He wondered why that was. Did they not like the garden, or were they avoiding him?

The wind carried the scent of the flower across the air. The bright sky, colored in hues of blue and purple shone. The peacefulness of a moment stuck in time. It was perfectly perfect, as one would say. But it was quiet.

Lately, everything was quiet.

And while Sora didn’t remember, everything else did. He knew, almost unconsciously, that the tower wasn’t supposed to be so quiet. It should be brimming with energy. Filled with so many sounds no one could keep up. What those sounds were, eluded him but…

The quiet just didn’t seem right.

At least, the garden was supposed to be quiet. It reassured him that this part sounded what it was supposed to sound. Although it made him wonder, what made this place so different from the rest.

He went to pick up a flower. A beautiful rose that bloomed in the middle of gardenias and violets. The urge to start plucking the petals overcame him. Sora guessed it was muscle memory. A lot of things he hadn’t known he could do, came out that way. They told him they were things he did so many times they had been engraved in him.

Plucking petals was? No matter how deep inside his memory he searched, no flower came inside his mind. Not even the vaguest hint, or the smallest detail. That was strange. He’d managed to at least remember glimpses of other muscle memory related stuff. Why couldn’t he remember this one?

‘_Your core memories are the most damaged_,’ Namine’s voice said inside his head. ‘_If you can’t remember something, maybe it’s because it’s connected to them closely._’

“Core memories, huh?” Sora watched as the wind moved the petals back and forth. His grip slipped, and the small flower was carried away. “Wait!”

The flower stumbled upwards, out of reach. Sora stood up, in a poor attempt to grab it one last time. But it’s stem was too thin for him to grasp. It floated, drifting away.

He was left empty-handed, in the middle of the small garden.

“…Don’t go…” he whispered. “I need you.”

No answer came. The only thing he was left with was rush of the wind against his ears and the sight of a clear unbound sky above him.

At least, until a scream tore him out of his daydreams.

“Sora!”

He turned towards the voice, just in time to be tackled to the ground. Sora stumbled backward, eyes wide, feeling the weight of the person on his entire body. It was warm. The feeling of arms wrapped themselves around his neck, bringing him into a hug was strange. But not unwelcomed.

“What happened?! Are you hurt?! I came as soon as I could and-!”

This someone looked like Ventus. At least, at first glance. But Sora’s heart knew it wasn’t him because he couldn’t bring himself to call him that. Instead, he asked.

“Who are you?”

The boy pulled away and stared back at Sora. Blue eyes blinked, glittering almost like the sea he longed to be in. It _wasn’t_ Ventus. Ventus had green eyes…

But they were familiar still. Unafraid, unconcerned.

“I’m Roxas,” the boy said. “You don’t remember?”

Sora shook his head, in utter confusion. The ‘I’m sorry’ was in the tip of his tongue, as he had grown used to saying for the past days. Ready to stare into weeping eyes and forced smile.

A laugh.

Roxas was laughing. Dandelion laugh, scattering through the air, bright and yellow. The sound alone was so peaceful and full of light, that Sora’s body relaxed before he noticed. It was loud. _Sound_. Noise. Almost music.

Suddenly, the touch against his skin was welcomed. He didn’t feel lonely anymore.

“Oh man, how ironic,” Roxas said through huffed breaths. “At least now _you_ know how it feels!”

The boy brought their bodies closer, hugging Sora tighter. Overwhelmed by the tumbling emotions inside his chest, Sora returned it. This closeness. This warmth. It soothed a strange ache in his heart he hadn’t know was hurting.

When they separated though, Sora was left with the feeling that it _wasn’t_ enough. Roxas stared at him and smiled.

“So,” Roxas asked. “How are you holding up?”

It was a kind question, said with kind eyes.

The dam inside of Sora burst open.

“Roxas…” Sora said, voice breaking. “R-Roxas…”

He couldn’t remember a thing, so why was he crying? All he knew, was that everything inside hurt. The tears wouldn’t stop, no matter how much he tried to wipe them away. Heavy and hot, crystal tears rolled down his cheeks, as he sobbed in the middle of the small garden.

Roxas gave him a soft smile. A hand went to the top of his head, petting it softly.

“I know,” he said. “Come here, you big cry baby.”

Sora wailed, arms going back to hug Roxas, unsure of how to stop crying. How to stop everything from hurting so much. He felt guilty for dirtying Roxas shirt. It was covered with tears and dirt, but it’s not like he could stop.

The void in his heart, that empty space that had appeared since he woke up…It just seemed to grow with every second.

The agonizing way his heart was being torn apart, was making him lose his mind. Slowly ripping away, tearing through the seams, breaking. It all burnt inside, eating him away.

He felt incomplete. Broken.

Alone.


	2. Heaven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The truth runs wild  
Like kids on concrete  
Trying to sedate, my mind in its cage  
And numb what I see

Sora sniffled, hands wiping away the snot as he tried to calm his breathing down. Roxas hadn’t left his side. Not even when Sora bawled about not remembering a thing, nor when he was shaking so much he couldn’t walk. He didn’t leave even after he finally stopped crying, but that probably had to do with Sora holding the sleeves of Roxas’ hoodie with hesitant hands.

No matter the reason, he was grateful.

“Here,” Roxas said. He was holding out a popsicle, as they sat on edge of the tower in Twilight Town. “Feeling better?”

Sora didn’t trust his own voice yet, so he nodded slightly, taking the popsicle in his hands. A translucent bright blue shone in his hands, while Roxas sat by his side. Roxas took a bite of his ice cream, eyes drifting towards the sunset. Sora’s eyes followed, feeling a certain familiarity inside his heart.

He wished he could remember.

“You recognize this place?” Roxas asked.

“I’m sorry,” Sora said, looking down. Guilt began crawling up, as he held the wooden stick tightly in his hands.

“Hey, stop it,” Roxas said. “Don’t apologize! It’s not your fault you don’t remember.”

“But, I’m hurting everyone…” Sora replied. The sticky blue water began running unto his hands. The ice cream melting, running through his fingers. Like the forgotten memories he no longer held. “Kairi and Ventus…They don’t look me in the eyes, because I hurt them. I don’t want them to be sad because of what happened to me.”

“You feel bad because your heart cares about them,” Roxas said. “That means it still remembers. Your mind just needs a bit of help, that’s all.”

“But…”

“No buts!” Roxas exclaimed, making Sora jump in his place a bit. Fierce blue eyes stared at him, furrowed eyebrows and pursed lips. “We love you Sora! Nothing can change that! You’ll get your memories back, so don’t lose hope!”

Sora nodded slowly, letting the words gradually sink in.

“Now eat. It’s going to melt,” Roxas huffed out. Sora laughed a bit and nodded.

He took a bite.

Salty and sweet. Familiar yet strange. Funny in his mouth but pleasant, nonetheless. 

“It’s good,” Sora murmured. He turned to see Roxas' side, who stared at the sunset with the wooden stick in his mouth. The reflection of the warm sun against his skin was comforting. It made him feel less alone, like the weight of another heart was settled in his chest. “Really good.”

Roxas didn’t answer, because there was no need for it. Sora plopped the ice cream in his mouth, silently watching the sky shifting into the twilight of the night. Without thinking, he rested his head on Roxas’ shoulder. There was a quiet calm that filled him with the touch. The itch underneath his skin mellowed out, and Sora finally felt like he could breathe.

Then, the weight of Roxas’ head fell on top of his. Sora’s chest squeezed tight, relief flooding him in an instant like a waterfall of emotions. The ease of finally being next to someone. After so many weeks of feeling alone and lost, the first pieces began falling into place. Touch and the comfort of someone by his side couldn’t be compared to any kind of medicine he had been given. It was a hidden pleasure unlike any else, soothing a burn he hadn’t known there was.

Roxas’ lingering hand went to hold his. It was warm and sweaty, but the feeling was welcomed against Sora’s freezing skin. A soft squeeze was enough reassurance he needed to know Roxas was there. As a friend and as family, ready to catch Sora if he crumbled down.

If Roxas felt the tears wet his shoulder, he didn’t say anything.

* * *

For the following days, Sora didn’t dare get too far away from Roxas. There was this strange fear inside growing that if he let go of his hand, Roxas would just _vanish_. It was probably annoying, but Sora _couldn’t_ help it. He had tried to stop, but it was almost impossible to shake off the dread that grew like vines around his heart.

Although he realized, it didn’t seem to bother Roxas all that much. The other boy didn’t frown or tried to shake him off when Sora clung to his side a bit too tight.

“Eh? That?” Roxas replied when Sora asked. “You were just like this when I first came back…I kinda missed it after you stopped.”

“I stopped?” Sora asked. “Why?”

Roxas opened his mouth to answer but cut himself off before the first words exited him. He shot a quick glance to the side and then shrugged. Sora didn’t take that as a legit answer but found he really couldn’t protest. There had to be a reason why Roxas didn’t tell him.

Although the reason was probably dumb.

Little by little, small bits of his memories came back. Not much, not really. But everyone was relieved to see him remember.

Roxas took him to the beach after a few days of insistence, for example. Because Sora remembered he liked the beach.

It was different from what he recalled, but it was close enough for him to be washed away by the sweetness of the moment. And among the sand, he had found a seashell. Small and cute, a purple color underneath, and his first thought when he saw it was _Xion_. Without thinking about it, he reached for it. When they went back, and he gifted it to the girl, she had started crying.

“You remember I like them!” she cheered, holding the seashell close to her chest. “I will treasure it Sora! Thank you so much!”

The same thing happened when Sora asked Ventus about how Aqua and Terra were doing. Ventus was so happy to hear he remembered his friends he launched himself to hug him. Just for him to immediately pull away with an apology ready. Sora didn’t waste time and hugged him back, telling him it was okay.

Ventus cried in relief, burying his face on the crook of Sora’s neck. Just like when he was with Roxas, Sora felt the ache of his heart soothingly go away with the contact.

Yeah, hugs felt the _best_.

That alone was an important memory because, after that, Sora wouldn’t stop hugging and holding hands with everyone and anyone. It helped him remember a few things too. Not much yet, but it was better than being completely blind to what had happened before.

“I think Roxas is an important memory to you,” Namine had said when Sora commented on how certain things came back to him. “Not quite your _core memory_, but close enough it helps you remember other things.”

She was probably right. The memories of Roxas were almost completely there. Key word being _almost_. Sure, he remembered Roxas being his Nobody, and that time he consoled him in his dreams. And he remembered sharing sea salt ice cream, and sleepovers after midnight. But what they spoke of during those sleepovers…

_‘Yeah! [][][][] totally said that!’ _

_‘Really, Sora I don’t get why you [][][][][][][].’_

_‘You’re one to talk, mister-I-make-out-with-a-clown!’_

_‘It was **once**!’_

It seemed important. But whenever he brought it up to Roxas, he could get all flustered and say it was nothing. Maybe…

Maybe Kairi knew?

She had to. They all said that Kairi was his close friend, and deep-down Sora believed them. But no matter how hard he tried to speak to her, she would just runoff.

“She feels guilty,” everyone said. “Just give her time.”

He couldn’t. Not when she looked so sad. Not when she was on the verge of tears just by staring at him from the distance. If she was his friend, then he had to do something! He had to reach out to her.

That’s what friend did, wasn’t it?

* * *

Finding Kairi proved to be harder than he had anticipated. The entire hours he spent looking through the halls and corridors of the tower made Sora grow desperate. Not only because his quest was turning fruitless, but because his heart was anxious. Although the memories weren’t coming back, the sensations were. An endless search to find his friend, through doors and doors, unable to find where she laid.

He was infinitely thankful to find her in his room, eyes drifting through the window.

“You okay?” Sora asked, startling her slightly. She tried to excuse herself, getting up without looking in his eyes. “It’s okay! I wanted to talk to you!”

Her silence grew longer.

“I don’t think we should,” she replied. “I-I hurt you Sora…Because I was weak, you lost your memories!”

“It’s not your fault,” Sora said, frowning lightly. “Kairi, it’s no one’s fault! I don’t blame you-.”

“I know,” Kairi interrupted, small droplets of tears forming in her eyes. “You’re kind, Sora. I know you don’t blame me.”

“Then why-?”

“I blame myself.”

Sora blinked.

“I was joking around and teasing you,” she said, tugging her fingers in anxiety-induced fear. “You tried to get me to stop, but when I-…I brought up _something_…you lost your footing and got attacked! If I had been more serious, if I hadn’t been playing around you wouldn’t be-!”

Her tears spilled. Big blue tears, heavy as they fell unto the wooden floor. It hurt to see her in so much pain. Sora didn’t hesitate to bring her into a close hug, hoping it would help her calm down. When she went limp in his arms, holding tightly onto his shirt, he knew it did.

“It’s alright, we’ll fix this,” he said. “Like we’ve fixed everything! You don’t need to feel guilty. Things will be fine.”

Between sobs, Kairi nodded. Her hair trickled Sora’s nose, making him laugh a bit. The red against an ocean suddenly flooded his mind. The image of a girl, laughing by his side on the beaches he remembered. Her unconscious frame against the sand, as he called for her name.

_Kairi_.

“Remember that time we broke the mayor’s vase? I cried because we would get in trouble…But in the end, the mayor just laughed and said it was ugly either way!” Sora said, letting go of her frame. “As long as we’re together, it’s gonna be okay!”

“You remember?” Kairi asked. There was a hidden glint of happiness in her eyes as she said it. Her smile grew. “You remember!”

“A bit, yeah!”

“Do you remember all about Destiny Island!? What about Traverse Town?!” she asked, jumping slightly in her excitement. “The raft!?”

Sora’s face fell, as he tried to recall it. He could only remember bits of it. The ones were Kairi was in the picture. Everything else was fuzzy. Granted, now he remembered Axel and Namine. But everything else…was blurry.

He shook his head.

“But that’s great!” Kairi said, eyes brimming with the sparkles of hope. “You’ll remember everything! I can feel it!”

Sora let her be happy for a moment. Maybe she was right but, at that moment, it felt so far away. A distant dream he couldn’t quite reach.

What could his _core memory _be?

* * *

“You should talk to him,” Kairi’s voice brought him out of the daydream he had indulged himself in. “He’s starting to remember.”

“He’s remembering what’s important to him,” Riku replied, staring at the stars in the sky. “But what if I’m not important to him? What if he doesn’t remember about me _ever_?”

“You can’t know that unless you talk to him!” Kairi exclaimed. 

“I have,” he replied. Kairi’s lips pursed, unsure of what to reply. “He doesn’t _recognize_ me. Whatever he sees before him, it’s not me.”

“I know it hurts-,” Kairi tried to say.

“He never forgot me,” Riku interrupted. “And I never forgot him. No matter what. I was there for him, and he was there for me…”

“You’re not the only one who misses him!” Kairi insisted, yanking Riku’s arm to make him look at her. Angry tears were rolling down her face, but they stilled when Riku’s face got illuminated by the stars.

He was crying. Kairi’s hand let go of him.

The trail of tears ended on his chin where the sparkly salt drops glistered against the night sky. A bittersweet pull made Kairi star, unable to say a thing.

“It’s not the same,” he replied. “…He forgot about the stars in Destiny Islands.”

_The Stars?_ Kairi thought to herself. Sora never mentioned the stars before. Not even to her. 

But it made sense. Perhaps closer than herself, closer than Roxas, closer than Ventus or Xion…It was Riku. They had secrets she didn’t know. _No_ _one_ could know.

The will to fight evaporated from her body.

“I still think you should talk to him,” she said, but her voice was no more than suggestion besides Riku’s resolve. “_Riku_.”

“I will,” he said with a sigh. “I will…”

“Thanks,” she said. A sad smile appeared on her lips as she turned around.

The rooftop was beautiful. You could see the shooting stars that rained down. A breath-taking sight, if you asked Kairi. Just as she opened the door, she heard a whisper.

“Sora…I wanna see the stars again,” came the soft voice with the wind.

Kairi fought back her tears, as she closed the door behind her.

* * *

_‘Your core memory?’ Namine asked. ‘I wouldn’t know…’_

_‘Not even a clue?’ Sora asked. _

_‘Well, if Kairi’s memories weren’t your core memories…’ Namine began. ‘Then it’s something before even **she** was in your life.’_

_‘Before Kairi?’_

_‘Yeah…Something that was always there,’ she explained. ‘Before Kairi, and after Roxas! Something that never left you…A memory which without it, nothing makes sense.’_

Sora frowned. He was sitting on the kitchen of the tower, trying to piece together the puzzle of his memories. It felt all so close, yet so far away. The longer he tried to mend them, the fuzzier the edges got.

With a tired yawn, he was about to head to bed, when he felt the breeze of the cold weather hit his skin. Why was he always so cold? He shuddered, trying to rub his arms in a poor attempt to stay warm when he saw it.

It was a jacket.

Was it Roxas’? Or Axel’s? They probably wouldn’t mind if he took it, right?

Mind still tired from thinking and body tired from training, he reached for it. He put it on, absent-mindedly trying to remember what his core memories _were_.

But as he adjusted the jacket on his body, Sora _melted_.

It was so warm! And big…Yeah, it was definitely not Roxas’, but it was too small to be Axel’s. Sora yawned again, too tired to guess whose it was. And besides, the jacket was so comfy he wouldn’t return it even if he knew who it belonged to. It was the first time in ages he felt this kind of warmth. The kind that didn’t just reach his skin, but deep inside his heart.

Without thinking, he rubbed his nose against the hems. The scent of soap and _something_ hit him, and a bubbling laugh escaped him. So pure and full of happiness it caught him off guard. Why was he so happy? He hummed, not really caring for the answer.

This smell…It reminded him of something. The beach…the seagulls…the ocean and the sand. The flashing image of Destiny Island came to his mind.

Safety. _Protection_. Like nothing could harm him as long as he was enveloped by this scent. This warmth.

_‘Sora!’_

Sora opened his eyes. The memory flickered before his eyes, distorting and stretching. What was…that? Who was that person?

A laugh. One so sweet and contagious, Sora couldn’t stop himself from smiling just at the sound. He slowly closed his eyes again, drowning in the feeling of bliss that was spreading through his body. Another yawn. Tiredness hanging heavy in his eyes, body finally giving in to the weight of training. It was so easy to relax, fall asleep on the couch of the tower, with the jacket enveloping his frame in a sweet melody. Shielded from the darkness of the world around him, Sora gave in to sleep, strangely assured that no Nightmare would come haunt him.

Just before he closed his eyes, he felt the name slip past his lips. A quiet prayer, to the one that mattered the most.

“Night, Riku…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;;;;;; can you believe someone i really look up found this fic by accident jsakdjalj i feel like i ran out of luck for my entire LIFE. now i feel kinda shitty bcs im not good enough to execute the ideas as i wanted it ;;;; but oh well. whatevs. 
> 
> i just wanted to write touch starved sora a lot ?? him slowly realizing how much he likes hugs is my kink lol 
> 
> hope you guys liked this fic!!! i was thinking abt writing a dia de muertos fic but im not sure if people would like it lol. guess i'll have to see how everything goes. Thank you so much for reading and see you soon!


	3. The Fault In Our Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And I don't wanna let this go  
I don't wanna lose control  
I just wanna see the stars with you

It was strange to wake up from a dreamless sleep. Better than a nightmare filled one, that much was true. But the feeling was still strange.

As Sora blinked awake, he was filled with a sense of solitude that he still couldn’t quench. The warmth from the jacket had faded away in the middle of the night, and the shimmers of peace that had once flooded him, had evaporated.

“Wakey, wakey,” Kairi’s voice came through, easy-going and sweet. “You’re gonna miss breakfast, sleepyhead.”

Sora let out a loud yawn.

“Well, someone had a good night’s sleep!” Ventus voice echoed. All Sora could do was nod, stretching out his limbs. The light pain in his muscles eased slightly, and he blinked to stare at the rest.

“Stop teasing!” Xion called, although she didn’t hide the amusement in tone. “Sora! What do you want for breakfast?”

“Pancakes,” he mumbled, rubbing his eyes. With another yawn, Sora got up from the couch.

“Pancakes again?” Kairi said, her giggles mixed in. “You’re gonna get a toothache if you eat so many sweets!”

“Not,” Sora replied, his tongue barely sticking out.

“Totally will!” Ventus’ joined in.

“You’re all just being mean!” Sora complained. He sat down on the chair in the far right of the table. Another yawn escaped him; the drowsiness still lingered on his body, and the chilliness of the air only made him want to return to bed. He frowned, wishing he could be back in his bed, wrapped around that pleasant warmth he remembered. Without thinking, he let his head fall onto the shoulder of the person by his side. “Riiikuu, defend me…”

The body stiffened. Slowly, Sora opened his eyes, blinking as the light from the windows hazed his vision. A smile tugged his lips, fleetingly caressing the corner of his mouth. Sora’s still tired eyes managed to see a familiar face. Although, to say it was familiar…His mind couldn’t remember it. But there was something in his heart, aching and pure that pulled him towards the presence. A touch that seemed to soothe the ache in his chest, unlike anything he’d ever felt.

For a moment, for a sweet eternal moment, the quiet was gone. There was noise, there was _light_. There was _music_. A **_tune_**. Filling him, every little bit of air that surrounded him was brimming with _sounds_. The giggle that followed through Sora’s lips, escaped him without notice.

Then, his vision cleared. Eyes. Like the sea. Shimmering between blue and green, a precious colour that reminded him of the ocean back on Destiny Island. A shade that brought him back home, in an instant almost ephemeral.

Sora’s hands felt empty, and they moved to hold the other’s. It was a movement so intrinsically hidden in his body, it came as natural as breathing. His arms slid down, feeling first the palm before interlocking fingers. A wide calloused hand, bigger than his. Almost made to protect, to hold the scared ones, as they fought away the monsters. The nightmares.

Like this, he could almost fall asleep again…

Until pain sparkled behind teal eyes.

The panic that followed was almost as instinctual as everything that came before. Sora pulled away. The wave of fear that came crashing onto him was overwhelming.

‘_I hurt him’_ was all his mind could say. Sora was shaking.

And just like that, the quiet returned.

It was as if something had ripped away inside Sora. Snatched in a second, tearing the seams, destroying it until it crumbled. All too suddenly, he realized it was his heart. His heart was cleaved. A string stretching and breaking, leaving behind only the hurt of the silence. There was no sound, no music. All of the sudden, he felt alone. _Cold_. The strangeness of an out of tune melody, of a quiet heart. It all felt so _wrong_. Without the sound to keep his mind off his tumultuous thoughts, he was left with scattered memories. An empty world, devoid of _anything_ to guide him through.

_Riku_.

He had hurt _Riku_.

Sora gasped for air.

“Sora!”

Warm hands went to grab his face. The blurry image of blond hair came into clear focus.

“Sora, breathe!”

“V-ven…?”

A loud sigh. It took him a while to realize that Ventus was hugging him. Everything in his mind was a mushy mess, and he could barely see. Much less _think_ or _feel_. The only thing he felt in control enough to do, was hug Ventus back. Wrap his hands around him, and cling.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” the words kept going. Sora finally breathed, slowly regaining the control of his body. “Shh, no one’s gonna hurt you…I’m here."

Sora barely managed to blink away the tears. His eyes focused on the distant image, hoping to see Riku still standing close by.

But he was gone. The ache in his chest continued to grow, but Ventus’ whispers and comforting touch was enough to calm him down from the mild panic attack he was having.

“I hurt him,” he muttered. Ventus pulls away, concerned eyes fixated on Sora, yet the boy could only stare at the door halfway closed. “I hurt Riku.”

“It’s not your fault,” Ventus offered, placing his thumb on Sora’s cheek. He wiped away a runaway tear. “He’s just…a bit lost.”

“I should remember though,” Sora said; hands trembling. “About Riku, about you, about…everyone. But I still can’t remember all!”

“Remembering takes time, Sora,” Ventus replied. He cradled Sora’s face on his hands. “Now listen, it’s okay. Riku will be fine.”

_He won’t. _

He wanted to say that, but he swallowed the words. What did Sora know? What did he really know? He couldn’t even recognize Riku’s face. Couldn’t put the pieces together, finish a puzzle of which the only thing he knew, was that he _had_ to finish it. He didn’t know Riku. He couldn’t be as sure as he felt that what he had done had hurt him. There was no way of knowing. Because he didn’t remember.

His hands went to claw out his chest. Blunt nails dragged across his skin. It was a futile attempt to grab at his fractured heart. The missing piece.

Ventus stared at him, a puzzled look in his eyes.

“Don’t do that,” he said, taking Sora’s hands away from his chest.

“It feels…empty….” he confessed. “Like part of me is missing.”

“Maybe it’s your necklace!” Ventus said, trying to lighten up the mood. “I think Kairi has it. The chain snapped during the battle, but it should be fixed by n-”

“Necklace?” Sora asked, suddenly halting into place. “What necklace?”

Silence fell in the room. Xion, who has been cleaning out the room while Sora calmed down, stopped dead on her tracks. Roxas turned towards Sora, with an expression as mixed in with confusion as the rest. But perhaps it was Kairi who had the strongest reaction. She had been carrying the dirty dishes. The instant Sora asked about the necklace, she dropped them. Her eyes went wide, slight horror dawning on her as she trembled in her place.

“The one you always wear?” Ventus tried to say, but it sounded more like a question. He turned towards his friends to seek help but found them in a similar state to him. When he turned to Kairi though, he asked “Kairi?”

“You crown necklace,” she said. Her voice was shaking slightly. “You know? The one who you said was very special to you…?”

“I…I don’t remember,” Sora said. The sentence had become so familiar it actually made him feel sick. If there was one thing he wanted to forget, was how to say those three words.

Kairi took a step forward, she was shaking like a leaf, her hands going to her left pocket.

“You never took it off. When we were kids, I asked you…But you never told me why it was so important,” she replied. From her pocket, she took out a little chain. “You said it was a secret. I tried to get you to lend it to me once but-…You freaked out so much you started crying.”

“I did?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Kairi said. A bitter laugh escaped her. She placed the chain in Sora’s hands. “It’s important to you. Very, very important.”

She slowly retreated her hands, revealing with a dreadful pace the necklace in Sora’s palm.

He had expected to remember, even if just a little when the necklace came into his vision. At least a sign, a memory. A single thing that showed to him that what Kairi was saying was true. But as he traced with his fingers the crown-shaped metal, he found nothing.

No glimmer of hope, no scattered dream or far off memory on sight.

All there was, was a pretty necklace that shone in his hands.

“Do you remember?”

He didn’t want to say the words. He didn’t want to keep forgetting important things. He didn’t want to continue hurting his friends.

He tried his best to choke down the sobs on his throat when he shook his head. The defeated sighs of the rest echoed like heavy rocks falling to a bottomless abyss. Sora gripped the necklace harder, trying to find solace in it.

His heart sung. It remembered. But he couldn’t. No matter how hard he tried, or how much his heart yearned for it…The memories were just gone. Vanished into the thin air, without a trace nor lingering trail left.

If he could forget something that was so important…just how much had he forgotten? How many memories remained locked?

How much did forgetting hurt?

“Maybe if you put it on? It might help,” Ventus was the one to offer. Sora nodded, barely registering the comment. His mind was running in circles, loudly crying for its missing parts.

Still, he put it on. No memories came back but, to his surprise, the pain eased. The pendant was heavy, almost like a second heart. For some reason, the weight felt familiar. Comfortable. Like it always belonged there. Sora felt a little less empty, a little less like a husk with no memories.

Not quite complete but…

“How are you feeling, Sora?” Xion asked.

“Better,” he said. And he meant it.

* * *

He spent the rest of the afternoon with Kairi. Roxas and Xion had to go back to school, while Ven had to go out on a mission.

He tried his best to stay positive, to keeps smiling and chatting with Kairi. After their chat the day before, he’d guessed she’d be better. But while she could look at him in the eyes now, the melancholy in hers didn’t leave. Every time he joked around and said anything funny, she had this look.

That of fondness for something that was no longer there.

“What’s the matter?” he asked.

Kairi got startled for a second but composed quickly. She tried to laugh it off, but the concerned look Sora was giving her made her sigh. No matter how much she tried, she could never keep anything from her best friend.

“It’s just-…I know you’ll get your memories back, eventually but…” she said. “If you don’t remember about your necklace, then…I wonder how much damage your memories took.”

“I remember _you_,” he said, trying to cheer her up. “And Roxas! Ventus is a bit blurry, and Xion is almost there but…”

“But you don’t remember Riku,” she said. “Or Naminé…I know you’ll remember but! I feel scared that I hurt you so much.”

“It’s okay, I can take it!” he said with a bright sunshine smile.

“I know you can,” she replied. “I just worry.”

They continued to talk until the sun in the horizon began setting. Kairi left soon after, leaving Sora in the standstill of the kitchen. His eyes were fixated on the ceiling, hoping to find the answers he was searching, in the vast emptiness of darkroom.

* * *

Sora was ready to head back to his room when the sound of footsteps echoed from the tower. It didn’t come from the ground. He looked up, listening carefully.

It came from the rooftop.

His body moved before he could think. The stairs, he’d learned, always liked to play tricks. Leading you on to places you didn’t want if you were absent-minded. That’s why Sora wasn’t sure where exactly he had to go to reach the top. But the tower seemed to be in a good mood. And even if Sora couldn’t know where he was going, he soon found himself staring at the night sky that shone brightly up above.

He took a deep breath in, mesmerized by the infinity that stretched on. The sky was so clear and so wide. Stars he had never seen before twinkled. In red, purples and blues. In between the shades of blue, white was scattered all around.

The wind hit him, a rush of cold going through his body. A shiver that he couldn’t control. Yet, it filled Sora with a rush of excitement. The height and the view, it all seemed way more magical than anything he’d seen before. More enigmatic and secretive than princesses of light and enchanted roses.

It seemed-…

“What are you doing here?” someone asked.

“Riku!”

Sora couldn’t help the way his voice came out. Nor the way his heart leapt at the sight of silver hear floating against the endless sky. Their eyes were fixated for an infinite second. And in them, Sora felt he could the answers to anything and everything he’d ever wondered. A millisecond was just enough for him to catch a glimpse into something he should know, something he _wanted_ to know, and at the same time not understand it at all. 

“You shouldn’t be here,” he said.

Riku tore his gaze apart. And inside, Sora felt like he was tearing apart too.

“T-the tower sent me here,” he said. It wasn’t really a lie. “I don’t know if I can go back.”

Riku let out a sigh and seemingly gave up on the issue. He turned around and sat down by the edge of the tower. Sora followed him, as they both stared at the sky together.

“Aren’t you cold?” Sora asked.

“Well, _someone_ stole my jacket,” he replied. He sent Sora a look. Sora looked down at his clothes and-…

“Oh.” Sora blinked. Followed by which, his face flushed. He was still wearing the jacket he found on the couch. Which meant. “Y-you can have it back-”

“It’s alright,” Riku said. His smile was gentle. Sora stared, unable to look away. “You can keep it.”

There it was again. The faint sound, the faint lullaby. A small song, an unheard melody. The kind that filled his mind with harmony, instead of pain. The type that let his heart take the lead, leaving his mind behind.

Sora sat down.

“I didn’t know there was a place _this_ beautiful in here,” Sora said.

“Yeah,” Riku said. “You don’t see stars like this on Destiny Islands.”

“You’ve been there?” Sora asked. He knew it was the wrong question when Riku stiffened. The apology was on the tip of his tongue, but Riku spoke before he could speak.

“Yeah,” he said. “I’ve been there.”

“Hmh.” Sora’s eyes continued to look upwards. The sky seemed so unfamiliar; so foreign. “Do you miss it?”

“Destiny Islands?” Riku asked. Sora nodded. “Sometimes, yeah. But not always. You?”

Sora frowned as he thought. The heavy feelings inside his heart, and the pain in his head…It always came with the faint memory of the islands.

“I think I do,” he said. “My heart does, at least. Or. It misses something that’s there.”

“Something from the Islands?” Riku asked.

“Yeah…It wants to go home,” he replied. “Riku, what do you do when you get homesick?”

“Homesick?” Riku wondered for a bit. Sora could have spent forever looking at the way Riku though of things. The way his eyebrows furrowed up and the corner of his lips turned down. “I wouldn’t know…”

“You don’t?” Sora asked.

“To me, home was never all that far away,” he said. “And if I ever really did feel like going home I-…If I was lonely, he wasn’t far behind.”

Sora perked up at the words.

_‘He wasn’t far behind’_

Did that mean Riku’s home was…?

“What do you miss the most from the Islands?” Riku asked, probably feeling the weight his answer had left in the air. Sora smiled. The image instantly got conjured up in his mind.

“The tree,” he answered. “The Paopu tree by the reef.”

“Ah, the one you and Kairi sat in?”

Sora stilled.

“With Kairi…?” he asked. “I-I don’t remember tha-”

But Riku was right. Kairi _had_ been there. The small bits of memory he still had formed a glitched-out picture. And from it, he could make her silhouette. Red hair against the sunset, a voice that felt like butterflies.

But it didn’t _feel_ real. There was something missing.

He didn’t realize he was having a hard time breathing until the weight of a familiar hand rested on top of his. Sora turned to see, finding a pale warm-to-the-touch hand holding tightly against Sora’s smaller one.

Riku…It was Riku’s hand. 

"It's okay," he said. 

A smile tugged at his lips.

“I also miss the stars,” Sora confessed, melting into the feeling of belonging that grew inside his chest.

“Really? I find these prettier,” Riku said.

That much was true. Sora frowned, staring upwards into the sky.

No. He didn’t miss the stars back home. He-…

“I…I miss **_seeing_ **the stars,” Sora replied. His frown deepened as he blinked. Slowly, he began piecing together the puzzle. “Not...the stars on Destiny Islands." He looked through the sky. "The stars back home.”

“Sora?”

Riku’s voice was laced with worry. If Sora wanted, he could close his eyes and get lost in that voice. So deep, so pure of concern. A voice that could guide him through the dark. Protect him, save him.

“I wanna see the stars.” Sora’s heart was beating. Loudly, exhilarated. He stood up when a shooting sky flashed through. Like. Like…The shaky breath that followed was full of emotions, intermixed with running tears. “W-with…with!”

Sora almost fell down the tower, as he stumbled to turn around. Suddenly, the sky was shining brighter than the sun. Brighter than the light. Brighter than anything Sora could name. The colours that floated around, they danced reflected on Riku’s eyes. They were wide, looking at Sora with surprise, while Sora himself tried to stop the tears rolling down.

It didn’t work.

All at once the memories came flooding back.

_Giving up already? Come on Sora, I thought you were stronger than that!_

The meteor shower. A grand sky that promised them adventures. A world out there. And below it.

There they were.

The image by his side was distorted, ripped in the edges. But for some reason, the longer Sora stared at it, the clearer it became.

_‘Aren’t you scared, [][][][] ?’_ it was Sora’s voice, a younger version.

_‘Of what?’_ the voice that replied was familiar. Sora couldn’t know where he’d heard it before.

_‘What’s out there. You say you wanna visit other worlds but…Isn’t that scary?’_

_‘Not really.’_

_‘You’re really brave then, [][]k[].’_

_‘What about you? Are you scared?’ _

_‘…Maybe a bit?’_

The laugh that followed pulled at Sora’s heartstrings. He recognized it. How could he not? It was the most beautiful sound he’d ever heard.

_‘Don’t worry, Sora. Nothing will ever harm you. I’ll be right there to protect you. No matter what!’_

‘_But what if we get lost []i[]u!_’ Sora’s younger self’s voice grew frantic for a minute. ‘_What if we get separated! I’ll be all alone and-!_’

‘_Here_.’

Sora gasped. Hands reaching towards his chest. The relief that flooded him when fingers touched cold metal was beyond what he could imagine.

‘_If you ever get lost_-’ the image in front of him cleared. ‘-_just hold on to this! I’ll be searching for you, so don’t worry! I’ll find and-’_

_-then I can protect you. _

Like a fira spell, the memories burst from his mind. Slowly cascading, filling up every whole he had thought would be caved in forever. Moments in time, frozen and reignited, began taking form. Moving through his eyes. And suddenly, everything made sense. Every little piece he had thought to be out of place fell right where it belonged.

It was all bursting in fireworks of sound and colours. The memories he had thought lost.

“Sora?! Are you okay?” Riku’s hands reached out to hold him. Sora staggered to stay upright. His mind was tired from remembering so much in such a short time.

So he gripped Riku’s arms as tight as he could. He needed to steady himself. With ragged breaths, he managed to look up and was met with Riku’s eyes. So full of worry. So bright they could make the stars shy.

“Riku,” he managed to breathe. A shaky laugh followed, and the swelling joy that emerged from the deepest parts of Sora’s heart came toppling forwards. “Riku!”

He recognized those eyes. That beautiful shade of teal that had mean peace and safety for the bigger part of his life. Without stopping to think, Sora reached for their Link. There was a pulse and a warmth as he touched it.

And then, there was sound.

Their heart song.

“You remember,” in-between a question and an answer. Riku’s voice felt like dry land in a sea of confusion.

“You promised you’d take me to see the stars,” Sora whispered. “Right before the mission.”

“Yeah,” Riku replied. “I think I did.”

“And I touched our link at breakfast today,” Sora pointed out. Then laughed. “You freaked out like when we were kids.”

“I’m sorry, but how was I supposed to act when my _boyfriend_ can’t remember a thing and he’s flirting with me?”

Those words sounded right. They echoed in his memories. One by one, bringing forward memories that could only be described as treasures.

“I so was not,” Sora laughed.

“Yeah?”

“Okay, maybe a little.” He laughed.

He had been crushing on Riku. Kinda. He just hadn’t realized he liked him yet. The thought alone made Sora laugh. Guess history really does repeat itself.

Riku’s hand was gripping Sora’s face, tracing lines across his cheek. Sora breathed in, happy to finally be able to touch the memories of the man in front of him. To reach into his heart and find the answers of why he loved him so much.

And the answer was simple.

It was _Riku_.

But before Sora could mutter another word, Riku’s face finally fell. The tears formed, and panic rose up into Sora’s chest. His hands hurried up, wiping the tears as soon as the began running down. Riku’s sobs were tearing quick at the seams of his heart, and Sora could only try his best to hold each other together.

“I thought you wouldn’t remember,” Riku confessed. “I thought--!”

“—that I would leave you?” Sora finished. Riku nodded, weakly. With all the love that Sora had in his heart, he smiled. “Silly,” he laughed. “You were my missing piece.”

Sora wasn’t sure how to say all the words he wanted. How without him, nothing would have ever made sense. Riku wasn't just a memory nor a fragment in his mind. He was part of Sora. Part of who he was, and without him, everything just seemed _wrong_. How could he even begin to explain to Riku how much he missed him, even without fully knowing him? There was no way of saying how lost and alone he was without him. Or how everything suddenly fell into place, almost perfectly, as soon as they held hands again. His throat was closed up, his body was shaking. His heart was screaming, yet no words came out. Everything was so _loud_, so full of music and sound, and Sora loved every second of it. Finally feeling like he was home.

He couldn’t say all he wanted.

So instead, he did the next best thing. With a shaky laugh and out of breath, he reached forward with all the love he had in the tip of his tongue.

And he kissed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Has anyone finished re:mind yet? 👀 i gave up on the data bosses and I’m confused as hell lol. But seeing as I finished it, I thought it was time to finally update this fic!!! I’ll be uploading more fics in the week, and hopefully even more during February. Let’s see how it goes.
> 
> I got the idea for this fic when i heard troye sivan's "the fault in our stars" (that's why all chapters are named after a TS song). There was just something so beautiful about the words "I just wanna see the stars with you". In fact, the doc for this fic is called "see the stars with you" lol. I was tempted to make it the title of the fic but i thought it was kinda cheesy lol.
> 
> I'm glad i got to finish this. I was really stuck in it for a while, but I figured it deserved to be ended properly. 
> 
> thanks for coming along for the ride.

**Author's Note:**

> I really liked the steven universe movie. it ot me thinking about how much i like the "memory loss" trope. So it got me thinking, perhaps, i could give it a shot. Having Sora revisit that which he loves the most so he can remember it...i wanted to write something like that. 
> 
> sorry it's not the next part of daoko! or something particularly horror themed! I know it's Halloween, but i really wated to write this. It's not going to be that long, but i was excited to try it! Wonder when i can update it next...
> 
> if you feel compelled to come chat with me i'm @LoliCoded in twitter!


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